Tuesday, March 22, 2016

SPICE IT UP!

Inject Excitement Into Your Marriage.
Ecclesiastes 9:9 happens to be one verse of scripture that I love a lot because it reiterates the truth that God intends for marriage to be enjoyed! It says that it is our portion to be married and happy! So married life and fun are not mutually exclusive! Like everything else in life however, marriage requires maintenance and constant input for it to be happy and successful. Most marriages today are anything but exciting. It would appear as if the older marriage gets the less vibrant it becomes! 

Reasons For Unexciting Marriages:
i.  Being the only relationship in its class, and because of the level of intimacy it engenders, married couples have the propensity to begin to take each other for granted with time. Then gradually, without even noticing, they settle into a predictable rut, going through the motions as their marriage becomes unexciting. The spark is gone.

 ii. Insensitivity caused by being unresponsive to the other person's desires over time.
iii. Not consciously caring for each other's needs.
iv. Unsettled issues and unmet expectations.
v. Fruitless attempts at resolving issues in the past
vi. Overcommitment. This could be at work, church, community, children's schools, with extended family etc These 'normal' activities do take their toll on marriages in the long run. And so if deliberate effort is not put into making your relationship with your spouse a priority, you will be drained at the end of each day having little or no substance to offer them.

In fairness to most couples though, sometimes the above situations do not arise deliberately. They just do not know what is expected of them sometimes or they simply do not put their minds to these burning issues in the way that they ought to.  So with the passage of time if the above trend continues unabated, the other party ( husband or wife ) begins to develop their own way of survival, which is emotional distance. Thus begins the vicious cycle of dull, boring and un-stimulating marriage relationship.

WHAT IS A SPICE?
A substance which when added to food enhances the taste and quality of it. A spice is a seasoning. It adds pep to food.
WHAT DOES A SPICE DO?
-it sweetens, preserves, is medicinal, enhances food flavours, covers up deficiencies, prevents decay, brings out the best taste/flavours in foods, etc
CHARACTERISTICS OF SPICES: they are mostly hot and spicy! Strong, sharp, sometimes bitter!

To introduce excitement into your marriage, pay attention to the following 'spices'
1. The spice that sweetens marriage  is PLAY/RECREATION

Proverbs 5:18. 
18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. If your marriage must remain sweet no matter how old it is, then you need to see to it that you do not lose the childish virtue of playfulness and recreation in your relationship as husband and wife. Celebrate life, laugh, play together, crack jokes, call each other funny pet names. Go for outings together. Take a stroll together from time to time, your schedules permitting.
What this does is that it creates a continuous bonding between the two of you like nothing else can. Keep friendship alive! It will not happen by default. You will have to plan for it. Schedule it!

In Luke 12:4a Jesus calls His disciples friends! We should be friends too. Loosen up a bit! Choose to enjoy each other's company. Do things that will make your spouse always look forward to being in your company. When you are apart, let them be able to have a smile on their face just remembering you and anticipating being with you again. Having mutual interests helps in this regard. Even if your spouse's favourite past time is not your area of interest, for their sake and for the sake of your relationship, it pays to go along with it, especially if they find it relaxing! Form the habit of doing fun things together. ( Of course you know I am not referring to anything ungodly, obsessive or sinful here, but fun hobbies and recreational activities ). Like playing games at home, watching interesting shows together etc. Did I mention that I like football (soccer)? I found out in my single days that most guys like the game. So I advised myself accordingly! So despite our busy schedules, sometimes we watch a match together, do match analyses and player profile updates and so on. And what makes it even more fun is that my husband and I support different teams! Lol!
to be continued tomorrow...

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