WHAT DOES SHE WANT???

I think the above question should read 'what does she NEED? Men, here is your own write-up about what it takes to please your wives. What does a wife really need from her husband? What is it that moves a woman? Like really tickles her? Can a woman be truly satisfied by her husband? Is it ever possible for a mortal man to relate with his wife in a manner that will truly elicit appreciation from her because she has been touched in her innermost being? What man hasn't wondered along one or more of the above lines at some point or the other in their lives before?  If we cast our minds back to the very beginning, at the creation of both man and woman, one thing that stands out clearly is the fact that the female was delicately put together by God. Check out the details again in Genesis chapter 2. This explains why the woman is the way she is and why she acts the way she acts, especially in relation to her husband. You have not known how to relate with your wife consummately until you understand and embrace her innate need for affection from you. Love is the language that a woman understands! She was made to be the recipient of her husband's love. She lives for it.  She craves it, and if it is not forth coming, well then you've got something else coming! 

A woman who feels truly loved by her husband will go to the ends of the earth and back for him. She will not misbehave. She will strive to please him and his life will indeed be full of the rewards and benefits of the love and attention he showers on her. This understanding should inspire you to seek out practical ways of daily demonstrating your love to your wife, because come to think of it, love is actually an action word; a verb if you like! It is not enough to think good about her and wish her well in your heart, that makes not much sense to her until it leaves the realm of the mind and becomes a tangible reality that she can savor.  No matter how grand your intentions towards her, only the perceivable, palpable evident demonstration of your love for her will tug at her heart and make her 'spoil you silly' with all that your heart desires from her and even so much more! Lol. 

See, loving your wife genuinely makes her feel secure. Everything a wife will do or not do, how she will do or not do it will be determined by how secure she feels in her relationship with you. If anything (or anyone for that matter) threatens her sense of exclusivity and security in her relationship with you, no matter what else you do, she will have a hard time relaxing with you and being the best she can be to you. Oh yes the prevalent notion among the menfolk is that women are only about money and material things, and that once that is in place you will have them exactly where you want them as they will be over the moon with joy and acquiesce to your every bidding! Not so guys; not completely so.

While I concur that a large number of women consider a man's ability to provide for them a priority, but in the absence of a proven caring, loving, sacrificial relationship where she feels secure and valued, a woman's heart is not fully yours and so is her commitment. Think for a minute about all that you wish your wife could and should be. All the positive changes you desire in her. All that you have argued and fought over. All that you have reported her about, insulted and harassed her about. All of those traits in her that you can't stand. Well, a challenge is going out to you now to consider a change of strategy!
Abraham Lincoln said "Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short lived."

Love conquers all! 

Love wins hands down where all other weapons fail.

Love cannot be defeated, no matter what.

Love will laugh last, always. And that is because love is the very nature and essence of God. So just like God always wins, love too will win in the end!

Song of Songs 8:7

7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned. 

Truth be told, a loved wife will not misbehave! A controlling, uncooperative, difficult, quarrelsome and hard -to-get-along-with wife can only be 'tamed' by relating with her patiently and affectionately, instead of  harping on her obvious weaknesses and rubbing it in that she's no good. You don't want her to live up to that, do you? So, embark on a mission of finding out how to demonstrate unalloyed, transparent, consistent love and affection to your wife. If there are other issues bothering you about your marriage, and I'm sure there are, well why not start out by being obedient to God first? Do your part and then leave God to help you sort out the rest, in response to your own gesture and initiative of love. After all, we Christians (who are the bride of Christ ) respond to our Lord Jesus and serve Him the way we do because He took the initiative of love. "We love Him because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19. Rather than wait for us to be 'worthy' of His love and care, He took the first step of loving us in spite of our shortcomings, and then we had no choice but to reciprocate His gesture. That's exactly the way it is with women! 

Wondering how to go about it?

Act lovingly towards her despite how you feel right now and right away!

Send a text message or an audio message, call to find out how her day is going, handle that matter she has been complaining about, do something selfless like offering to help her with some chores or staying with the children while she takes a nap or fixes her hair, appreciate her efforts at housekeeping or taking care of the children; whatever! Just pour goodness into her.

That's a good place to start.

Grace to you! 

Shalom.