DEALING WITH SEXUAL ADDICTION Part One

Addiction is a state of being enslaved to a habit, activity or something that eventually leads to habit- formation.

Rom.6:16 says:

16 Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?

It is an intense, overwhelming, uncontrollable obsession with sex/sexual activity. 

But like every other addiction, it does not happen suddenly or overnight.

According to James 1:14-1 every man is first tempted before they eventually get snared.

THE PROGRESSION OF SEXUAL ADDICTION therefore goes something like this:

Temptation>desire>lust, which is unbridled restless desire ( when fed) > graduates to addiction.

So sexual temptation in and of itself does not lead to addiction. If it is dealt with properly at that stage, it will not graduate to become a monstrous propensity.

THREE INDICATORS OF SEXUAL ADDICTION

1. COMPULSION- An overwhelming pressure that makes it difficult to control or discontinue sexual activity. 

2. CONTINUATION- The loss of the ability to stop despite grave consequences. It is possible to have tried many times to no avail.

3. OBSESSION- Being continually flooded with sexual thoughts and not being able to control the thoughts. 

The daily assault of sensual images from the media:  TV, the Internet etc is a modern day reality for us all. Being something we all must grapple with day to day, you need to be very careful and on guard to avoid being sucked in by the endless stream of sexually suggestive content everywhere you turn.

Please understand that the mind is the most important sex organ!!! 

So that is the place where the battle for sexual purity is won or lost. No wonder the bible says in

Proverbs 4:23

23 Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.

So be careful what you allow your mind to dwell on especially via your senses of sight, hearing and feeling. Whatever takes control of your mind will eventually take control of your life.

Guard your mind and do not allow negative, unwholesome stuff in there so as to avoid being trapped by the spirit of lust.

For example, whether married or not you have no business watching pornography, reading sexually-stimulating material or visiting pornographic websites or the like.

EXAMPLES OF SEXUAL SINS/ PERVERSIONS/ ADDICTIONS

1. Fornication. This is pre-marital sex. Any sexual activity involving people who are not yet married.

Despite its popularity in these modern days promoted especially by unmarried couples living together, fornication is a blatant violation of God's law. He is the creator of the sex drive, and like everything else He made, it has its correct place and context for fulfillment. Outside of that, it is not only a sin but will also hurt those who indulge in it.

Gen. 4:1 Adam 'knew' his wife not his girlfriend!

1 Cor. 6:18 says for us to flee fornication

V. 13 The body is not for fornication.

Truth be told friends, pre-marital sex = self gratification, and selfishness!

2. Adultery. That is extra-marital sex. Having sexual relations as a married person with someone other than your marriage partner. This is also a sin.  It is a betrayal of the marriage covenant that you entered into when you married your spouse. 

3. Uncleanness. This refers to sexual filthiness and pollution, whether acted out by oneself or with another. Rom. 1:24; 26-27

E.g. masturbation, nudity etc.

Some people think there is nothing wrong with masturbation for instance because according to them they are not hurting anybody.

Well the Bible makes it clear that we are not supposed to exercise sexual power over our own individual bodies; that power is reserved for our marriage spouses. 

1 Corinthians 7:4

4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

Also the bible says in Matthew 5:28

28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

It will be good to ask yourself if the thoughts of your heart while masturbating can pass the test of the above verse of scripture.

I doubt that you are thinking holy thoughts when you are masturbating. 

Let's face it! Your mind is not filled with thoughts of loving and serving God or of evangelism when you are self-pleasuring! 

Apart from that, the habit of masturbation affects normal sexual relations between husbands and wives in marriage. it is a selfish act that does no one no good. There is a way out of the underlying causes of masturbation, whatever they may be. And that is what your focus should be. Jesus can set you free from whatever causes you to engage in this or any other act of sexual deviancy. Reach out to Him sincerely; He is willing and able to set you free.

4. Lasciviousness. This refers to having no sexual restraints; not caring what others think.e.g rape, incest, homosexuality, prostitution. Lev. 18:6-16

5. Homosexuality/lesbianism.

Despite popular opinion these days, homosexuality is an aberration of divine order. We are not being homophobic or hateful when we declare the obvious truth that God made the sexual union to be between male and female only! 

Honestly, apart from the truth of God's word, but just on the basis of anatomy alone, there is something incongruous and plain wrong about a man having sex with a man or a woman having sex with a woman!

Gen2:18-22,4:1, Lev18:29,20:13, Matthew19:4-5, Rom1:26-27,24, 1Cor6:9-10

Please seek help if you have such tendencies or temptations. It is not only sinful but absolutely abnormal.

6. Prostitution. Deut23:17, Lev19:29, 21:7 Prov7:25-27,23:7,7:10, Eph5:5, Rev21:8

...to be continued tomorrow